Monday, April 23, 2012

RESUME BLUNDERS! (Part - I)


Resumes flow in and out of my hands characteristically, being in the HR profession. I come across some innocent, sincere lines mentioned by candidates many a times, which convey a different meaning altogether than what is intended.

Here are a few such examples. Have inserted my comments (VP) for each…. Enjoy!

Disclaimer:  Please note that this article is posted Just for Fun, and has no intention to hurt, ridicule or insult any person in particular whatsoever.

  1. Please see last Left for Educational Summary
VP: Seems like some direction for a Map!


  1. Designation: sales exicativew
VP: Tried real hard to get it right!


  1. Job Profile:-
Independently looking after Vice President of project ………
VP: May be he is applying for a nurse’s job!


  1. ACHIVMENTS successfully construcated the residentian, commercial.molles. scheme "shravan apparment from shihagad road & vagholi from row housses & raje contruction,cumarsial bilding(8 floor)&ambegone
VP: Read the sentence without taking a breath! Hoooosssshhh!   


  1. I possess the ability to relate a wide range of people and capable of achieving personal goals and objectives performing with my professional carrier till date.
VP: Achieving personal goals with ‘professional carrier’? …. Hmmm!


  1. Having good respect in Organization with family status.
VP: I still dint get this! If anyone of you gets it, please post a comment to explain!

  1. OTHER SKILLS :                  INDIAN DRIVING LICESES.
VP: Obtaining an ‘Indian’ driving licence…. Does it require any skill? I doubt if it even requires driving skills for that matter.


  1. Saved company money by taking on several job responsibilities.
VP: Now that’s a real achievement!


  1. Marital Status-Married
Hobbies-Body Building


VP: hahahahaha! No comments!


  1. Note-Now I’am free for my new Corse I.T.I Serveior Exmanation as a Temperary leave from- -company.
              VP: Thanks for the info. I shall remember!

11.    Industry Type             : Real Estate
Product                       : Multi Storage Apartments’.
VP: Storage for humans!

  1. HOBBIES           : - TOURRING AT OUT SIDE.
VP: Does anyone have a hobby of Tourring at In Side too?


13.   Willingness to learn, keep passions & cool in nature, believes in hardworking as well as smart work.

VP: Keeping passions is a valuable trait really!


  1. PROJECT WARK DONE:- Panting work & Advantage & Disadvantage of panting
VP: Hahahahaha! You corrupt minds. He is talking about ‘Painting’! How a missing ‘i’ can bring laughter to our innocent souls!

  1. SEMINAR:- All type of vibrater use in construction
VP: Again, No comments! What are you thinking?

  1. EXTRA CURRICULAR:- Social Work
Hospitality of pilgrims every year

VP: I always thought extracurricular meant sports, reading, dancing, cooking etc.!

  1. JOB RESPOUNCEBILITY:
VP: Quite a pouncing one that is!


  1. About Myself
I AM WORKERS AND SINCERE IN MAY JOB HAVING GOOD QUALITIES OF ESTABLISHING AND MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE HONESTY INTEGRITY FAITHFULLNESS AND JOYALLY ARE MY STRENGTHS I ALWAYS ENJOY TO ACCEPT NEW CHALLENGES IN LIFE.

VP: In Marathi they say 'Bhavana pohochlya', means 'got the point'.


19.   Summary:Plz dont look after my Profil. I m Fresher in this field.I m office Admin in XXXX  pvt ltd. From 2years

VP: No one dares to see his profile, got it!?


  1. CAREER OBJECTIVE
To, pull the best from within to rice to the occasion, only to leave the marks where I work.

VP: Seems like an application for a farmer!


  1. STRENGTH:
Able to work for longer period without any mental and physical strain.

VP: Superman!


Now, these 2 have been received as emails:
22.  Respected Mam,               
        As per your contacts to me, you have called me for interview today. But, today at 1:30 pm. our companie's C.M.D are coming our site for visiting propram. So, there some meetings are achived among us. So, I'm sorry for this situation!  I will come soon with my c.v. in office for iterview!                  Thanking you!               
        'GOOD DAY'!!

VP: Though, I truly appreciate that he bothered to inform in advance!


  1.  feb-11 & mar-11 not open excel sheet pls this convert be excel-2003. apr-11 to jun-11 salary sheet open only two month not open salary sheet.pls send repeat
VP: My job is at stake! I wonder what I’m supposed to do here!


Hope you guys enjoyed reading this. I will keep up the good work of collecting such artifacts. If you have come across any creative work, please feel free to share …. 

ONLY FOR THE SAKE OF HUMOUR! J

Hey and do not forget to mention which one you liked the best!


P.S.: Fun continued... blog posted on Thursday, October 25, 2012


- VAISHALI PARGAONKAR

More Fun @ 1)  Funny Stupid things people write in a resume
                       2)  150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever

4 comments:

  1. LOL...yeh sab padh ke mujhe apne common friend ki yaad aayi..he is still not in contact with me..
    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL... which version of excel does u use ....
    ReplyDelete
  3. My personal favourites:
    1) Marital Status-Married
    Hobbies-Body Building

    2)PROJECT WARK DONE:- Panting work & Advantage & Disadvantage of panting

    3)feb-11 & mar-11 not open excel sheet pls this convert be excel-2003. apr-11 to jun-11 salary sheet open only two month not open salary sheet.pls send repeat
    ReplyDelete

    Replies


    1. TOURRING AT OUT SIDE. hahahha.... lets go to toor at in side ulsoh...
      Delete


2 comments:

  1. Great Collection, I would say!
    I appreciate your patience.

    I would like to add one more...
    Marital Status: married with one child...

    ReplyDelete

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